Modern society has marriage all wrong. Women act like men leading the home and men take the role of women with compliance. Many are so brainwashed into believing that if there is a problem they can just walk out. Divorce seem more desired than marriage these days. Honestly, I am convinced feminism is to blame for a majority of the problem. Our men our being attacked from every which way. As wives we come together and “vent” about how dumb, careless, and unkind our male counterparts are. Because which man is not empty-headed and insensitive? Every sitcom from the Simpsons to Modern family just shows men in such a detestable light, while having women command the home with all their brilliance. Men have to consider women equal to themselves or they are bigots. Satisfaction can not be gained trying act like something a woman is not. Telling a wife submission and respect lead to a healthy and joy filled marriage is so taboo, but that is exactly what I am saying.
The biggest hurdle of my marriage has been precisely this, giving up control to my incredible husband and letting him lead as he sees fit. I was never taught how to be a traditional wife, much less a Godly one. My parents divorced when I was young. Other than their example I had no role models of marriage. I never even knew that being a good wife was a skill that I was able to learn. I just assumed being a desirable partner would happen if I was with the right person. I quickly found out that it is definitely not how marriage works.
I was actually rather spoiled as a child. (That being said in no way am I trying to dishonor my parents. They are truly incredible and I am so blessed to have them.) I have had to unlearn so many behaviors, since becoming married. I’m still working on rebuilding myself to be a great wife with God’s help everyday. It is obviously not America’s agenda to have healthy marriages in our community. We are currently too worried about “bathrooms for all” and the “correct pronouns” to educate school aged boys and girls on how to be successful in their proper roles. For a wife submission and respect are your best attributes in having a joyous home and earning a loving spouse.
1 Peter 3:1-6K (KJV)
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3 Whose ador lolning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Society and most wives for that matter do not believe God’s design, the traditional plan for marriage is fitting for their relationship. When the original design was followed women were more content. They learned from their foremother how to be devoted to their husbands. How to essentially obey their husbands. We need to regain these attributes. I am sure you have heard the saying “Happy wife, happy life!”, but that is so backwards. It should be “Respected husband, loved wife!”
It took me the first years of marriage before I realized what I was doing to my husband. It was a horrible cycle of me disrespecting him, and him not adoring me. About 9 months into married life we had a blow up argument one morning before I was going to a church gathering. I was still so weakened by the disagreement when I went up to the altar. I just poured everything out to that compassionate older lady who prayed over me and recommended a book that day. I am convinced it saved my marriage and my soul. Check the amazing book out here:Created To Be His Help Meet 10th Anniversary Edition
This book was the first thing in my life to teach me anything positive about marriage. It finally dawned on me that I was doing a lot wrong. I was not being a help meet or any kind of good wife. I started applying the wisdom studied from this book and the Bible and my marriage became more joyful. I began to have a deep admiration for my husband. Loving him as the child of God he is, forgiving him unconditionally and submitting to his authority.
I still struggle with letting go completely. Putting it all in God’s hands. Being the traditional wife He created me to be. Joy is truly found in marriage when a wife lays herself down and is her husband’s helper.